This time:
Are Push Up Bras False Advertising?

CINDY: I heard from an ex-boyfriend about a good friend of theirs. The friend was complaining about discovering his date was wearing a push up bra. This guy was really mad. Is he justified for feeling duped? Was he sold a misrepresented bill of goods? Is this guy just a pig? Is wearing a push up bra untruthful? Amber?

AMBER: No, no, yes, no. The guy's a pig. Did he ask this girl out on a date or just her breasts? I'm sure he puffed his assets to make himself more appealing. There's nothing dishonest about putting your best foot forward, in this case that was using a push up bra. What's next? Are people going to start complaining because someone works out, combs their hair or takes a bath?

BRAD: All I can say is that if I was out on a date with a new girl and I was close enough to know that she had worn a push-up bra I don't think I'd be complaining. This guy's not a pig, he's a moron.

CINDY: Keen point Brad.

AMBER: He's a moronic pig.

CINDY: Let's assume false advertising. What's the connection between men talking to breasts and women enhancing them?

AMBER: Men do look at and talk to women's breasts so is it any wonder women want to make their breasts as attentive as possible? If they don't seem attentive, it would be rude. Push up bras are a way for breasts to pay attention.

CINDY: Interesting point Amber, you're saying that breast enhancement is a matter of courtesy. Brad what are your thoughts?

CINDY: Brad?

CINDY: Brad!

BRAD: Oh, sorry I was distracted.

CINDY: Apparently. There must be a push-up bra amongst us.

BRAD: So if perky breasts are polite is it rude to talk to and stare at them? If they're just being courteous would it not be rude to not give them your full attention?

AMBER: It's not polite to stare.

BRAD: So we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. What is proper breast interaction etiquette?

CINDY: Hmmm, clearly grabbing is out. I don't know when grabbing would ever be appropriate.

AMBER: When you're in the throws of passion.

CINDY: I still don't think grabbing is appropriate. Grabbing is different than being passionate or even being aggressive.

BRAD: Ok, so no grabbing. Is squeezing alright?

AMBER: Squeezing is acceptable. Squeezing is good.

CINDY: I agree but not right away. I believe that squeezing should be precluded by first glancing touches. That should be followed by subtle caresses. Circular motions are good. I think only after that, is it appropriate for a full squeeze to ensue.

AMBER: Agreed.

CINDY: Brad?

BRAD: What? Huh?

CINDY: We'll come back to you. So we're squeezing breasts, the whole breast, what's the proper transition from said squeezing to nipple pinching?

AMBER: Pinchers? No, I don't think so. Not into that.

CINDY: You should try it sometime.

BRAD: Ah, so is pinching proper or not?

CINDY: Depends on personal breast preferences or breast references, whatever the case may be.

AMBER: You're twisted!

CINDY: That's good sometimes too!

BRAD: Aggh! I did not need to know that!

CINDY: I take it he's not a pincher.

AMBER: No I think he's a pincher, just not a twister.

CINDY: Hmmm. Brad?

BRAD: No comment. Are we about through here?

AMBER: What were we talking about?

CINDY: Breasts, enhancements, honesty, pigs.

AMBER: Talk to the breast. It's the polite thing to do.

CINDY: Squeeze not grab. Brad are you talking notes?

BRAD: I think they're wonderful. And I'm happy to have as much contact with them as possible. Bra, no bra, push up or otherwise.

CINDY: Good wrap up. Amber?

AMBER: I say push those babies to the sky. Make everyone look up and notice. Put your best boob forward.

CINDY: You're both right. Anyone that complains after direct contact with a breast... is, as Amber so decisively concluded, a moronic pig! Next time, Ex Sex!. It's been a pleasure, and remember, "No innuendo required."

Ex Sex Forum

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